Raghuvaran! The Comparable!!

It is almost a month since my favourite actor, Raghuvaran, had passed away.

I would never call myself a fan, who never misses even a single Raghuvaran film on screen. It is more than that. I loved him on screen. I experienced and enjoyed each and every moment of his on-screen appearance.

The only time the remote control for the TV at home would be idle is when a Raghuvaran's or Kamalhassan's movie is being telecast. I would be so engrossed that I forget everything that is happenning around me. I am here not to talk about who Raghuvaran is, but how much he is to me.

When I was at high school, my people used to say that I look like Raghuvaran and speak like him. Soon I realised that it was true. Once during my cousin's marriage I had to spend three days in Madras. From the first time she saw me, a friend of my cousin kept telling me that she had met me earlier, somewhere. We explored all possibilities and on the third day she herself found that out. She said, 'Hey, dude! You look like actor Raghuvaran!' ( I remember her name as Shweta)

I never tried to imitate him, expect for sometime when I try to deliver some of his movie dialogues. But my mannerisms and speech always seemed to be similar to his, about which I have always been proud of. But I have lost the long Raghuvaran face these days.

Whenever somebody speaks good about Raghuvaran, I feel happy as if the person is talking about my family member or a close friend of mine. If at all, I had to choose a pseudonym I would choose and have chosen this name, Raghuvaran, many a time.

If there was one day when most people in the world thought of me, it would have been April 19, 2008. A lot of calls started pouring in conveying their condolences. Even Raghuvaran's family members wouldn't have received so many calls. I had to keep clearing my mobile inbox for this.

I was at work that morning when I first heard this news. I always thought that some day or the other I would step into the film industry and naturally would meet Raghuvaran one day. So this news was a shock to me.

I came home, that day, had my lunch, had bath and got dressed as if I were going to attend a party. (I knew that it wouldn't be so easy to get into his house). I wanted to pay my last repects to my favourite actor. I got on my bike enquired throughout and finally reached his house in T. Nagar around 4:00 in the evening, only to find out that the funeral procession had left and was heading towards the cemetry.

I didn't have second thoughts. I rushed and followed the rose petals strewn on the road and caught up with the procession within minutes. And as we reached the burial ground, I had chance to touch and see my friend's face. My well dressed attire helped me there and I was through, with the few VIPs present, to the electric crematorium. We, Revathy, Rohini, Thalaivasal Vijay, few other VIPs and me, were together through the last rites. Yes! I had the luck to be present for my favourite actor's funeral alongwith the VIPs and be a VIP. All others were literally pushed away from that place.

Rishi, Raghuvaran-Rohini's only son. I felt much for this guy. The small guy was in his dothi, not knowing what is happenning around, but realising that his dearest dad will be no more with him. I put my hand around his shoulders for some time. And that is all I could do for my favourite actor.

There are a few things that I have lost and which are never going to happen.

• Rishi isn't that grown-up to realise what a great man his dad was and when he realises, Raghuvaran would be a man of the past.


• Raghuvaran never acted with Kamalhassan, my other favourite actor.


• Raghuvaran himself was talking in an interview about a music album that he got ready; and who is going to publish that now.

And finally,

• I wanted to meet this person in real life and sit and talk and spend some time with him.

I am happy that I was able to see and touch him atleast on the last day of his on this earth, even though it was just a lifeless chunk.